Real Estate agents...

Marina gave me the idea on these jokes, sorry, but I like them alot...

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said : "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this : somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying ; "Congratulations on your new home".


A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent : "I want to sell my god damn house." To which the astonished female agent replies : "I beg your pardon, sir, I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my fucking house!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office."

So saying, the agent goes over to the officer broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer : "What seems to be the problem here ?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my fucking million dollar home."

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"


How do real estate agents traditionally greet each other?

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."


Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says : "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a real estate agent. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!"